Your ex was a rosebush——easy on the eyes, but more work than he was worth. The one before him? A cactus——a dehydrated Texan who was hard to get close to. Then didn’t you date a redwood? That massive ginger who was fun to climb, but a bit of a sap.

You’ve sure got a type, gardener! And botanical bad boys are our thing too, with this collection inspired by the best Daddy Nature has to offer.